Dating a single mom with an autistic child

Being a single parent is hard when you have a special needs child, it can be extremely difficult!

You dont need to share the fact that your child is as likely to paint the bathroom with feces as he/she is to dance naked through your home.

Its so hard to relax when you feel someone is judging your children and your home, but you have to remember this person wants to be here.

Even on your first date, you can mention your children have autism, but you dont need to go into any details unless the person seems genuinely interested.

When a child has leukemia, we say the child has cancer, not that the child is cancerous.

:s posted: 9/1/2012 11:55:27 pmjanet_always: im sorry, but when you date a single mom, youre not just dating her, youre getting the kids too.

But when you have a child with special needs, its important to move very slowly and not jump right into the dating game.

- always try to keep in mind that you're an individual, as is your child - and you're both unique.

.Parents of newly diagnosed children find it challenging enough to navigate the new world of autism, let alone to find time to have a date night (or trust someone to take care of their child).

Dating a single mom with an autistic child

, and by the way, my autistic son is indescribably unique, clever, funny, witty, knowledgeable, innocent, caring, cannot lie, and without malice of any kind, surely traits you can only strive to gain, and if you compared him to so-called 'normal' kids such as yours, well.

When my child was first diagnosed, every waking hour of mine was spent researching, finding the best doctors and therapists, and doing therapy at home.

:s posted: 3/13/2010 5:07:30 amq: do you think that i should put on my profile that my son is autistic?

.By honestly acknowledging the gap in your knowledge and offering heartfelt help, you will be a much better support system for the parents of a child on the spectrum.

, in the spirit of national autism awareness month, some of my friends and clients who have children on the autism spectrum decided to brainstorm a list of statements they wish people would and wouldnt say.

I admire women who handle these situations as a single parent - it takes a lot of courage, humility and inner strength.

: yesas a single parent i know if the woman i am dating has a special needs kid it can impact more then just the dating it can also impact my children's quality of life, the amount of free time or together time i could have with her as well as how much money she may have to do things with.

He has grown to love my children, and im very happy about that, she says, adding that single parents who are about to embark on the dating rollercoaster should make sure their potential partner is trustworthy.

Those early years were crucial in shaping him into the amazing child he is now.

Dating a single mom with a special needs child

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The good news is that it is possible to find someone to love you and your children.

.Parents appreciate the extra help when it comes to driving their children to appointments, especially if there are siblings at home who need care, or help at an appointment when a child is scared or fussy.

I know exactly what you mean when you were talkin about the amount of research that us moms and dads have been able to do for our children.

There are some children with autism that no matter what you do, its not going to make a difference.

If you had a child who did not have special needs, would you let that child control your life?

:s posted: 8/29/2012 5:25:53 pmit takes alot of mental and emotional strength to be a parent of a special needs child.

I think she has at least one book on parenting an autistic child that would probably be a very valuable read for you.

If you spend any time at all around a parent and their child with autism, it's pretty easy to observe potential issues that are likely to become problematic when cohabiting up front.

You may be only looking for something casual and meet someone who opens your eyes to the possibility of having a love that surrounds you and your children in happiness, kindness, understanding, and love.

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Just can't imagine moving somebody and their child in, not even knowing the child or the situation.

Imo, nothing is more important than a peaceful home life and knowing that my children are happy and not being terrorized at home.

When dating its important to meet a person who is willing to try and understand the complexity of it all and be willing to not only accept you but your children as well.

You want your children to be safe and happy you may even worry they wont understand that someone new may become a part of your family.

This can be especially true if your child is extremely rigid around new people and has a hard time with changes in routine.

Most parents of children with autism dream about driving their kids to soccer or ballet, and parents of the 25 percent of non-verbal children on the spectrum dream about their children speaking one day.

Need to ask yourself if the sanctity and happiness of yourself, your children and your home is more important than the regular sex you may be getting from your girlfriend.

Taking care of a child with special needs can be a very demanding, stressful and emotionally draining experience, and somehow, we have to find some kind of emotional support, she says.

Stevenson suggests imagining each individual and task youre responsible for children, job, church activities as a drinking glass.

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Much did you know about her kid's disability (as well as the way she handles his behavioral issues/doesn't handle his behavioral issues) prior to having her move in with you and your children?

:spage 1 of 1 so i know that havin a child does set men back a bit on the dating scene.

.As a single parent, dating may not always be at the forefront of your thoughts.

I've only had one man tell me openly that he did not want to date someone with a special needs child.

If your child uses sign language, teach your date a few greetings and reply signs your child knows in advance of their meeting.

Take your cues from the parents about how open they want to be about the specifics of their childs treatment plan.

.Please dont complain about all of the normal things that bother you as the parent of a typical child -- at least not in front of parents who have children on the spectrum.

May be some one that also had a special needs child might be more willing to deal with it.

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I might have been willing to date this women more (date not marry) if i was not a single parent, but as a single parent i have to consider how it will effect my kids quality of life also.

Those who can't handle it are doing you a favor by being upfront, it's better than getting involved with someone who is going to not want to learn and understand about autism, and is going to resent your child and the demands on your time doing therapy, places you cannot go to because your child has sensory issues, and as anyone who has a child with autism knows, even the most routine day to day tasks can become monumental struggles.

Dont mean to scare anyone, but your childs safety is the most important thing in your life.

May not seem like a good idea if you are always open and honest with your children, but you have a right to privacy, and this is better for everyone involved.

Think about what kind of guys you want to attract and in turn might someday be a part of your child's life.

Also, while its tempting to try to put a positive spin on the diagnosis, most parents of newly diagnosed children dont feel that the diagnosis is the best.

Its perfectly acceptable to say this to the parent of a child on the spectrum.

Often parents experience guilt around the cause of their childs autism, and youd only be adding fuel to the fire.

I too have a child with autism and agree that dating can be a challenge.

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So we ask that parents give their children time to get used to the fact that theyre now being parented in two homes, if thats the case.

It seems the news is full of stories of how moms boyfriend or dads girlfriend harmed a child.

Sometimes, as the parent of a child with autism, me time is just not realistic.

.What if your child is uncomfortable with any kind of change, to the point that the slightest deviation in her routine triggers an all-out tantrum?

They can share with you whats going on in terms of their childs treatment and/or educational experience.

Parents have to re-establish a healthy relationship with their child before they go out and try to introduce another significant adult.

.Once parents adjust to living with a child on the spectrum and establish a new normal, then its okay to offer to take them out for fun, or to stay with their child so that they can go out.

And, the reality is, if the person cannot handle sitting through a meal with your child flapping or beeping or bouncing, this is not the person for you.

I know that havin a child does set men back a bit on the dating scene.