Made a joke (that i now realize was not a good joke/in poor taste) about urban dictionary, you pointed out that it was offensive, i said you're right, i can see how 'black' dictionary would be offensive, and how that's a reasonable interpretation of what i actually said, and said i was sorry, now you're saying i was being presumptive with thinking urban = black?
Those occasions when i find myself thinking about what kind of romantic relationship i would be in if i were in one, the imagined relationship looks a lot like what you describe in your last paragraph eselle.
My two reactions when using that site were a left swipe or looking at all the pictures before deciding whether to swipe right, but someone whose main picture was boring wasn't going to get the benefit of that extra look.
I'll admit to not knowing what "urban" is code for in other english speaking countries, but your comment implies that you're american (and you specifically mentioned ebonics in your reply).
Which doesn't do much good when looking for pictures of self to put up on a dating site.
: if your aim is to seduce a cardassian woman, be overtly irritable toward her because that's what chief o'brien did in that episode of deep space nine even though he didn't really mean to lead her on.
All it requires is that men refuse to listen or believe when women talk about what we need.
If you're curious to know what she's currently doing for a job, in all likelihood that will flow naturally from this question, plus you have instantly broadened the scope of the conversation and guaranteed a more interesting, intimate chat.
Problem with mandatory is that people tended to not pay attention to how the questions were used and assumed that it would weed out folks from their profiles.
Dating profile what are you looking for
Mean, if we were actually looking for solutions here, i'd suggest stopping paying attention to those particular women, and actively seeking out those who were of a more welcoming / non-judgmental disposition about it.
I tried to research on google what makes female as a noun so offensive, and it looks like it's only in the past few years that some people declared it offensive, and no sensible explanation of why it is offensive.
Oh "anecdata" (not to speak of the roundly insulting "all tall men cheat" you threw out upthread; hope your tall dude friends didn't hear that one, b/c i can't imagine if they find out that's what you think of them they'd be amenable to introducing you to any nice single ladies they know) that you seem to have peppered your thoughts & dialogue here with so far ?
And each time i asked them what could have made it different for the women they were with, almost down to the letter, each one of those men said the same thing: if a woman came to me and quizzed me up front about my intentions, they would have known from the beginning that i'm not looking for anything serious.
But that doesn't seem to be an issue of pain rating or not rating, more of a certain viewpoint not getting much attention because it's counter to both cultural narratives about women's sexual roles and men's fantasies about what women seeking casual sex will be like, and also some pressure for women to speak extra softly and politely if they wan to say anything outside of either of those narratives.
This way you can learn about any weekly soccer games, wild partying habits or child custodial battles with a simple, off-the-cuff question.
Reached out to the nerdlove readership on facebook and twitterto answer some of the most perplexing frequently asked online dating questions.
So since i was looking for a long-term relationship, your rigid physical requirements are not what i'm looking for.
. from what i've experienced and heard and read from others, i don't think that's quite right, or at least i know a lot of people who don't meet their one true love or establish a rotating harem of desirable partners, but who go on enough dates and maybe find some only-partially-satisfactory-to-them relationships and who keep profiles up because of that.
Dating question what are you looking for
's basically impossible to make good stats for such a question, but honestly for a free site no responses from 30 ladies messaged is probably par.
But it's a two-way street: know that this guy you're quizzing is listening to these intelligent, inquisitive questions, and calculating whether you're a woman who is his keeper or just a sports fish.
Sharing how you practice gratitude and what youre truly grateful for, you illustrate to potential matches who you really are.
My personal experience aside, it just logically follows that the more interesting and cool things you do, the more likely you will have better pictures, especially if you are looking for reasons to take more pictures of you doing something cool, interesting, or meaningful.
There's that one question that gives you the options, i think, of skinny, average, athletic, or voluptuous.
"so what you're saying is you don't think doing more interesting and cool things will help with having better pictures to take?
She's looking to have sex with men she wants to have sex with, not just anyone who's interested.
If we say that men approach and women get approached then we need to look at this question of when the selection comes in.
First glance, money-management, physical fitness, and job performance may seem like decent answers to this question.
Dating site what are you looking for
Advocacy is more subtle in the us because there are limits on what it can do, but if you look at countries where the church has more power, it has no problem shaping public policy to its religious teachings.
Do put in an effort in my messages, but what comes out isn't super clever or uniquely attuned to them such that it would stand out.
I don't know many guys who'd be satisfied with a woman who was polite, gave them compliments, and who was thoroughly herself if they found her to be subjectively sexually incompatible, boring, unpleasant, unattractive, or found that she was looking for a kind of relationship that didn't interest them.
For one thing, there's going to be a decent overlap among those who like the games you do and those to like to read (comics, sci fi, classics, graphic novels, fantasy, whatever) as well as those who enjoy nerdy tv/movies.
What mandatory actually did was weight the importance of the questions and affected the match and enemy percentage; very important weighted the correct response as 25 points while mandatory weighted it as 50.
Me on this: a man who really has a vision for where he wants to see himself in ten years has looked into his future and seriously considered what it'll take for him to get there.
Think women are somewhat more likely to message first on tinder, at least based on women i know who use both sites.
Of the nicer things about being a fat person past, say, high school/college, is that more people who are actually attracted to fat people are willing to stop caring what other people will say if they actually date one.
If you can look past the emotional heat of that conversation and just at what they said, they affirmed that your preferences are fine.
You, for whatever reason, may be a poor fit whether it be demographic, personality type or lifestyle for the site youre on.
I guess, it still kind of leads back to lifestyle (because that's usually part of it), but i don't think it necessarily means that people are looking to match with a person of that kind of lifestyle, just that they might assume?
. writing a decent message is just one part of what you're presenting to that person.
Being "clever" is less important than sounding real and probably less dangerous, given what the failure mode of clever is.
Line itself is less important than what it represents: a two-sentence summation of me at my best.
But his answer will be critical because it will reveal to you what his plans for you are.
's fairly clear in the article, but i also know a lot of people don't read the full articles and just take away the general idea, which seems to be why some people weren't understanding what she was saying in regards to that extreme.
Think the kinds of interest-based places you're looking are the right ideas, even if you haven't hit on the exact one to have a demographic in your dating range yet.
Why should i be subject to a code of conduct above and beyond what others are expected to do and what i expect of myself?
I think since this author seems to have more than a passing acquaintance with both male and female geek audiences might have been a whole lot of what she was getting at.
I can see, because the categories are somewhat subjective i mean, what exactly is "average" for body type, really?
: this question gives you some crucial intel for the next question, the final best thing to ask your date:9.
What you're saying is you don't think doing more interesting and cool things will help with having better pictures to take?
Theyre not into what you have to offer, theres no amount of nudging, prodding or whinging thats going to change their mind; at best, youre going to continue to be ignored.
If a guy leading a sexual harassment seminar was seen just days before non-consensually groping a woman's breast, it's going to be pretty hard to take what he says seriously.
If he's turned off by the questions, so what: you have the right to the information.
The fact that, at this point, you (via your comments here) are a literal illustration of the dunning-kruger principle, in that you don't know what it is you don't know;.
One of the pieces of advice is to approach women with small questions about the time or other innocuous subjects.
The most successful people in this world recognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared to take a shot.
I swear at least 1/3 of the profiles explicitly say "not looking for a hook-up" or "looking only for something serious", and those are only the people who bother to put any text at all.
Guess what i'm saying is you might not find a woman who loves all of your hobbies, or a woman whose hobbies you think are all fabulous.
Think it reads as assholish because it reads as "let them make the effort [because i don't have to]" even if that's not what is meant.
Better responses to the question include passionate about culture and travel, fascinated with learning, always ready to tackle new challenges, and someone they can depend on.
I might be better off trying with somewhat younger women with kids, since they're more likely to have kids closer in age to mine.
If youre on okcupid, consider ditching your questions and starting over to help increase potential compatibility scores.
I recently got one that said, more or less, "looking at ur picture's i see we have a lot in common" and my profile has exactly one picture.
You're already in a relationship with someone, these questions are still valid if you don't know the answers.