Both male and female losers may threaten suicide, threaten to return to old sweethearts (who feel lucky theyre gone!
The loser may send you pictures of you, your children, or your family pictures they have taken secretly hinting that they can reach out and touch those you love.
If the female loser is bruised in the process of self-protection, as when physically restraining her from hitting, those bruises are then displayed to others as evidence of what a bad person the partner is and how abusive they have been in the relationship.
If you are ten minutes late for a date, its your fault that the male loser drives 80 miles per hour, runs people off the road, and pouts the rest of the evening.
. paranoid control the loser will check up on you and keep track of where you are and who you are with.
Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault.
The loser will feel better about leaving the relationship if they can blame it on you.
If you listen to those phone calls, as though taping them, youll find the loser spends most of the call trying to make you feel guilty.
The loser may actually brag about their reputation as a butt kicker, womanizer, hot temper or being crazy.
How do i know i'm dating a loser
The other purpose of the mean cycle is to allow the loser to say very nasty things about you or those you care about, again chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence.
If you stay with the loser too long, youll soon find yourself politely smiling, saying nothing, and holding on to their arm when in public.
The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause the loser to detach from you as quickly as they committed.
Dont agree to the many negotiations that will be offered dating less frequently, dating only once a week, taking a break for only a week, going to counseling together, etc.
As far as the loser is concerned, youre always on your way somewhere, theres something in the microwave, or your mother is walking up the steps to your home.
Keep in mind, if the loser finds out you are seeking help they will criticize the counseling, the therapist, or the effort.
If the loser can blame the end on you, as they would if they ended the relationship anyway, they will depart faster.
Remember, the loser will quickly locate another victim and become instantly attached as long as the focus on you is allowed to die down.
Youll also find yourself walking with your head down, fearful of seeing a friend who might speak to you and create an angry reaction in the loser.
How do i know if i am dating someone
The loser may have two distinct reputations a group of individuals who will give you glowing reports and a group that will warn you that they are serious trouble.
Stop defending and explaining yourself responding with comments such as ive been so confused lately or im under so much stress i dont know why i do anything anymore.
The loser never, repeat never, takes personal responsibility for their behavior its always the fault of someone else.
The loser offers a multitude of deals and halfway measures, like lets just date one more month!
Some losers follow you to the grocery, then later ask if youve been there in an attempt to catch you in a lie.
If you are recently divorced, separated, or recently ended another relationship, the loser may be intimidating toward your ex-partner, fearing you might return if the other partner is not scared off.
In the beginning, the honeymoon of the relationship, its difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating.
. entitlement the loser has a tremendous sense of entitlement, the attitude that they have a perfectly logical right to do whatever they desire.
If you find yourself disliking the friends of the loser, its because they operate the same way he or she does and you can see it in them.
How do i know if i am dating a loser
In some cases, if they cant get rid of your best same-sex friend, the loser will claim he or she made a pass at them.
When the loser hears such possibilities, they think you are weakening and will increase their pressure.
That the loser doesnt accept responsibility, responds with anger to criticism, and is prone to panic detachment reactions ending the relationship continues the same theme as the detachment.
Dates and times together will be more comfortable and less threatening when totally alone exactly what the loser wants no interference with their control or dominance.
Imagine trying to end a relationship and receiving tearful calls from all his or her relatives (they secretly hope youll keep them so they dont have to), seeing a plea for your return in the newspaper or even on a local billboard, receiving flowers at work each day, or having them arrive at your place of work and offer you a wedding ring (male loser technique) or inform you that they might be pregnant (female loser technique) in front of your coworkers!
If you talk to your friends or family, the loser will punish you by asking multiple questions or making nasty accusations.
Might not even know what his standards are, butit feels like whatever you do is wrong.
.When the loser tells you how difficult the breakup has been, share with him some general thoughts about breaking-up and how finding the right person is difficult.
. its always your fault the loser blames you for their anger as well as any other behavior that is incorrect.
How do i know if a girl is dating someone
Psychologists usually treat the victims of the loser, women or men who arrive at the office severely depressed with their self-confidence and self-esteem totally destroyed.
In bad boyfriends, bad boys, dating a loser, dump him now, losers, love & dating, love & relationships, yourtango.
You will be hurt and damaged by the loser if you stay in the relationship.
If the loser is scheduled to arrive at 8:00 pm you call time & temperature to cover the redial, check your garbage for anything that might get you in trouble, and call your family and friends to tell them not to call you that night.
The loser will tell you they are jealous of the special love you have and then use their protest and opinion as further evidence that they are against you not him.
Many individuals fail in attempts to detach from the loser because they leave suddenly and impulsively, without proper planning, and without resources.
This technique allows the loser to do what they want socially, at the same time controlling your behavior from a distance or a local bar.
The loser then tells you they are treating you badly again and youd be better to keep your distance from them.
If you just dont think you can do any better, click through some online dating sites.
One of the things that might attract you to the loser is how quickly he or she says i love you or wants to marry or commit to you.
. they make you crazy the loser operates in such a damaging way that you find yourself doing crazy things in self-defense.
For the loser, discussing old times is actually a way to upset you, put you off guard, and use the guilt to hook you again.
While such fears are unrealistic as the loser is only interested in controlling you, those fears feel very real when combined with the other characteristics of the loser.
You might think that will calm the loser but it only tells them that the possibilities still exist and only a little more pressure is needed to return to the relationship.
If ever there was a big enough ball to keep you chained to a loser, its this one.
. walking on eggshells as a relationship with the loser continues, you will gradually be exposed to verbal intimidation, temper tantrums, lengthy interrogations about trivial matters, violence/threats directed at others but witnessed by you, paranoid preoccupation with your activities, and a variety of put-downs on your character.
While the loser wants to focus on your relationship, talk in terms of ann landers well, breaking up is hard on anyone.
In an effort to provide some warning about these very damaging individuals, this paper will outline a type of individual commonly found in the dating scene, a male or female labeled the loser.
You dating a loser, or are married to one - but can't bring yourself to leave him?
. bad stories people often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.
If cut off in traffic, the loser feels they have the right to run the other driver off the road, assault them, and endanger the lives of other drivers with their temper tantrum.
Wish the loser well but always with the same tone of voice that you might offer to someone you have just talked to at the grocery store.
Psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and counselors are available in your community to assist and guide you as you recover from your damaging relationship with the loser.
As they really dont see themselves at fault or as an individual with a problem, the loser tends to think that the girlfriend or boyfriend is simply going through a phase their partner (victim) might be temporarily mixed up or confused, they might be listening to the wrong people, or they might be angry about something and will get over it soon.
The loser begins by telling you these friends treat you badly, take advantage of you, and dont understand the special nature of the love you share with them.
A woman is in a relationship with a clear loser, theres a symbolic agenda playing out.
In years of psychotherapy and counseling practice, treating the victims of the loser, patterns of attitude and behavior emerge in the loser that can now be listed and identified in the hopes of providing early identification and warning.