You have been involved in a long-term relationship with the loser, after you successfully escape you may notice that you have sustained some psychological damage that will require professional repair.
In years of psychotherapy and counseling practice, treating the victims of the loser, patterns of attitude and behavior emerge in the loser that can now be listed and identified in the hopes of providing early identification and warning.
A woman is in a relationship with a clear loser, theres a symbolic agenda playing out.
. your friends and family dislike him as the relationship continues, your friends and family will see what the loser is doing to you.
You might think that will calm the loser but it only tells them that the possibilities still exist and only a little more pressure is needed to return to the relationship.
As long as the loser has contact with you they feel there is a chance to manipulate you.
The loser never, repeat never, takes personal responsibility for their behavior its always the fault of someone else.
. public embarrassment in an effort to keep you under control while in public, the loser will lash out at you, call you names, or say cruel or embarrassing things about you in private or in front of people.
.When the loser tells you how difficult the breakup has been, share with him some general thoughts about breaking-up and how finding the right person is difficult.
How to know if you're dating a loser
In many cases, you may lose some personal items during your detachment a small price to pay to get rid of the loser.
Remember, the loser will quickly locate another victim and become instantly attached as long as the focus on you is allowed to die down.
If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt hit the road.
Any contact with the ex loser, provide only a status report, much like youd provide to your aunt gladys.
If the loser is scheduled to arrive at 8:00 pm you call time & temperature to cover the redial, check your garbage for anything that might get you in trouble, and call your family and friends to tell them not to call you that night.
. its always your fault the loser blames you for their anger as well as any other behavior that is incorrect.
Many individuals are forced to play confused and dull, allowing the loser to tell others my girlfriend (or boyfriend) about half nuts!
Loser is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship.
The loser often apologizes but the damage to your self-esteem is already done exactly as planned.
How to tell if you're dating a loser
As far as the loser is concerned, youre always on your way somewhere, theres something in the microwave, or your mother is walking up the steps to your home.
Things that happen to your love life when youre used to dating jerks (and how to snap out of it).
If cut off in traffic, the loser feels they have the right to run the other driver off the road, assault them, and endanger the lives of other drivers with their temper tantrum.
You dating a loser, or are married to one - but can't bring yourself to leave him?
If you find yourself disliking the friends of the loser, its because they operate the same way he or she does and you can see it in them.
If no date is present on friday night the loser will inform you that they will call you that night sometime.
If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them.
The loser typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship.
If you listen to those phone calls, as though taping them, youll find the loser spends most of the call trying to make you feel guilty.
Losers there are losers that are severely ill in a psychiatric sense the movie description of the fatal attraction.
This technique allows the loser to do what they want socially, at the same time controlling your behavior from a distance or a local bar.
While such fears are unrealistic as the loser is only interested in controlling you, those fears feel very real when combined with the other characteristics of the loser.
Both male and female losers may threaten suicide, threaten to return to old sweethearts (who feel lucky theyre gone!
. the waitress test its been said that when dating, the way an individual treats a waitress or other neutral person of the opposite sex is the way they will treat you in six months.
Stop defending and explaining yourself responding with comments such as ive been so confused lately or im under so much stress i dont know why i do anything anymore.
High-tech losers may encourage you to make private calls to friends from their residence, calls that are being secretly taped for later reference.
From the loser often involves three stages: the detachment, ending the relationship, and the follow-up protection.
In many cases, the loser has isolated their partner from others, has control of finances, or has control of major exit needs such as an automobile.
. bad stories people often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.
Some losers follow you to the grocery, then later ask if youve been there in an attempt to catch you in a lie.
The loser offers a multitude of deals and halfway measures, like lets just date one more month!
When the loser hears such possibilities, they think you are weakening and will increase their pressure.
The loser is always sorry the next day and begins the mean-then-sweet cycle all over again.
Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure.
,there are more obvious things jerks do,like lie, cheat and steal, butwhat about the more subtle signs that youredatingone?
Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault.
Rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from the loser before permanent psychological damage is done.
Imagine trying to end a relationship and receiving tearful calls from all his or her relatives (they secretly hope youll keep them so they dont have to), seeing a plea for your return in the newspaper or even on a local billboard, receiving flowers at work each day, or having them arrive at your place of work and offer you a wedding ring (male loser technique) or inform you that they might be pregnant (female loser technique) in front of your coworkers!
For the loser, discussing old times is actually a way to upset you, put you off guard, and use the guilt to hook you again.
. the mean and sweet cycle the loser cycles from mean to sweet and back again.
In the beginning, the honeymoon of the relationship, its difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating.
The other purpose of the mean cycle is to allow the loser to say very nasty things about you or those you care about, again chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence.
More than three of these indicators and you are involved with the loser in a very high risk relationship that will eventually create damage to you.
. they make you crazy the loser operates in such a damaging way that you find yourself doing crazy things in self-defense.
You will be hurt and damaged by the loser if you stay in the relationship.
Keep in mind, if the loser finds out you are seeking help they will criticize the counseling, the therapist, or the effort.
The loser will be jealous and threatened by anyone you are close to even your children.
The loser may send you pictures of you, your children, or your family pictures they have taken secretly hinting that they can reach out and touch those you love.
Psychologists usually treat the victims of the loser, women or men who arrive at the office severely depressed with their self-confidence and self-esteem totally destroyed.
The loser feels your friends and family might influence you or offer negative opinions about their behavior.
The loser then tells you they are treating you badly again and youd be better to keep your distance from them.
The loser will feel better about leaving the relationship if they can blame it on you.
The loser is extremely hostile toward criticism and often reacts with anger or rage when their behavior is questioned.
From a psychological standpoint, the loser has lived and behaved in this manner most of their life, clearly all of their adult life.
This part of separating from the loser, you recognize what you must do and create an exit plan.