The loser has no interest in your opinion or your feelings but they will be disturbed and upset that you dare question their behavior.
. public embarrassment in an effort to keep you under control while in public, the loser will lash out at you, call you names, or say cruel or embarrassing things about you in private or in front of people.
Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure.
Dont agree to the many negotiations that will be offered dating less frequently, dating only once a week, taking a break for only a week, going to counseling together, etc.
. paranoid control the loser will check up on you and keep track of where you are and who you are with.
Many individuals fail in attempts to detach from the loser because they leave suddenly and impulsively, without proper planning, and without resources.
From the loser often involves three stages: the detachment, ending the relationship, and the follow-up protection.
More than three of these indicators and you are involved with the loser in a very high risk relationship that will eventually create damage to you.
How you know you're dating a jerk
Losers there are losers that are severely ill in a psychiatric sense the movie description of the fatal attraction.
As long as the loser has contact with you they feel there is a chance to manipulate you.
In the beginning, the honeymoon of the relationship, its difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating.
The loser is destructive, slowly move your valuables from the home if together, or try to recover valuables if in their possession.
. breakup panic the loser panics at the idea of breaking up unless its totally their idea then youre dropped like a hot rock.
Keep in mind, if the loser finds out you are seeking help they will criticize the counseling, the therapist, or the effort.
The loser feels your friends and family might influence you or offer negative opinions about their behavior.
Imagine trying to end a relationship and receiving tearful calls from all his or her relatives (they secretly hope youll keep them so they dont have to), seeing a plea for your return in the newspaper or even on a local billboard, receiving flowers at work each day, or having them arrive at your place of work and offer you a wedding ring (male loser technique) or inform you that they might be pregnant (female loser technique) in front of your coworkers!
How you know you're dating a loser
In many cases, the loser has isolated their partner from others, has control of finances, or has control of major exit needs such as an automobile.
From a psychological standpoint, the loser has lived and behaved in this manner most of their life, clearly all of their adult life.
Rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from the loser before permanent psychological damage is done.
When the loser hears such possibilities, they think you are weakening and will increase their pressure.
Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating.
. discounted feelings/opinions the loser is so self-involved and self-worshiping that the feelings and opinions of others are considered worthless.
The loser rarely detaches completely and will often try to continue contact with the partner even after the relationship is terminated.
The loser will feel better about leaving the relationship if they can blame it on you.
The goal is almost to bore the loser to lessen the emotional attachment, at the same time not creating a situation which would make you a target.
If you listen to those phone calls, as though taping them, youll find the loser spends most of the call trying to make you feel guilty.
Stop defending and explaining yourself responding with comments such as ive been so confused lately or im under so much stress i dont know why i do anything anymore.
If you are ten minutes late for a date, its your fault that the male loser drives 80 miles per hour, runs people off the road, and pouts the rest of the evening.
The loser will stop playing a machine that doesnt pay off and quickly move to another.
. no outside interests the loser will encourage you to drop your hobbies, interests, and involvement with others.
. your friends and family dislike him as the relationship continues, your friends and family will see what the loser is doing to you.
The loser is always sorry the next day and begins the mean-then-sweet cycle all over again.
If you talk to your friends or family, the loser will punish you by asking multiple questions or making nasty accusations.
If you find yourself disliking the friends of the loser, its because they operate the same way he or she does and you can see it in them.
The other purpose of the mean cycle is to allow the loser to say very nasty things about you or those you care about, again chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence.
At first, you will be assured that they will never direct the hostility and violence at you but they are clearly letting you know that they have that ability and capability and that it might come your way.
. they make you crazy the loser operates in such a damaging way that you find yourself doing crazy things in self-defense.
A woman is in a relationship with a clear loser, theres a symbolic agenda playing out.
The loser will tell you they are jealous of the special love you have and then use their protest and opinion as further evidence that they are against you not him.
The loser may send you pictures of you, your children, or your family pictures they have taken secretly hinting that they can reach out and touch those you love.
If you are recently divorced, separated, or recently ended another relationship, the loser may be intimidating toward your ex-partner, fearing you might return if the other partner is not scared off.
.When the loser tells you how difficult the breakup has been, share with him some general thoughts about breaking-up and how finding the right person is difficult.
You dating a loser, or are married to one - but can't bring yourself to leave him?
. the mean and sweet cycle the loser cycles from mean to sweet and back again.
As far as the loser is concerned, youre always on your way somewhere, theres something in the microwave, or your mother is walking up the steps to your home.
Dates and times together will be more comfortable and less threatening when totally alone exactly what the loser wants no interference with their control or dominance.
Some losers follow you to the grocery, then later ask if youve been there in an attempt to catch you in a lie.
. its always your fault the loser blames you for their anger as well as any other behavior that is incorrect.
. the waitress test its been said that when dating, the way an individual treats a waitress or other neutral person of the opposite sex is the way they will treat you in six months.
The loser typically wants to move in with you or marry you in less than four weeks or very early in the relationship.
If the female loser is bruised in the process of self-protection, as when physically restraining her from hitting, those bruises are then displayed to others as evidence of what a bad person the partner is and how abusive they have been in the relationship.
The loser will be jealous and threatened by anyone you are close to even your children.
In an effort to provide some warning about these very damaging individuals, this paper will outline a type of individual commonly found in the dating scene, a male or female labeled the loser.
. bad stories people often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.
The loser tells you their anger and misbehavior would not have happened if you had not made some simple mistake, had loved them more, or had not questioned their behavior.
Psychologists usually treat the victims of the loser, women or men who arrive at the office severely depressed with their self-confidence and self-esteem totally destroyed.