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I know that when i lied about being okay with my friend dating my ex, it was because i didn't want to look like the lame girl who couldn't move on, and because i really didn't want to lose my friend, even though i was mad at her.
And it really doesn't feel good to see your ex with one of your good friends!
: shutterstockyou might get weirdly jealous even if your friend doesn't seem weird about things, you might actually be the one who does feel weird about stuff.
The key to making a prudent decision here is to keep an emotional distance until you have made a conscious decision to move forward with your friends ex.
Communities are smaller and also more insular: everyone knows everyone and its inevitable that youll end up dating the same people.
Abuse, sexual abuse, people who are violent or serial cheaters - date someone who traumatised a friend and youre basically saying it was ok to hurt them badly.
Don't get me wrong, my friend would lend me a helping hand or provide a shoulder for me to cry on anytime i needed it, but she was notoriously high maintenance when it came to relationships (and a little nuts.
Only way you might be ok is if the relationship was never serious (they dated for a couple or weeks or a month or two) and stayed friends.
Rules for dating your best friend's ex
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Friendships last a lot longer than relationships, with few making it past the three month mark.
Aniston and bestie courtney cox were both romantically linked with counting crows frontman adam duritz - and katy perry and taylor swift both had relationships with john meyer (though that one did cause bad blood).
Says:dating them secretly will make the whole thing even worse, so you absolutely must be upfrontyes, you do have every right to date whoever you want and yes, what does it matter if theyre not going out anymore, but the thing is it does matter to most people, however illogically.
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Might be the case that dating this guy would completely ruin a friendship, and youd have to move to another country.
Butif youre wondering how to go about dating your friends ex, and you think the pursuit might really have potential, dont worry, you are not a terrible person.
Now, she was still dating the same fella she'd hooked up with after being dumped in college.
You might start worrying that things were going on behind your back when you were dating him.
Dating my friend's ex boyfriend
And if you want to spend time with someone who has been spaced by a friend, that will very likely mean that you will then be spaced from your friend, too.
Unless they hooked up only once and she really doesnt care about him at all, you just shouldnt go near someone your friend had real feelings for.
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Hope we can all agree that our friendships are more important to us than a few exciting dates with the next best thing.
When i was in high school, my best friend went behind my back and started dating my ex-boyfriend when i went on vacation.
Its a good friends ex and you suspect your feelings arent likely to turn into the real deal, is it really worth potentially losing them over it?
So even if your friend is ok with you dating her ex, you are likely going to see a lot less of your friend.
Which is why it was especially hard for me to watch my friend emotionally murder him.
Talk to your friend until you know the ex feels the same way about you, as you do them.
Secretly dating best friend's ex
Are exceptions to every rule, but one girl code ive always lived by is this one: dont date your friends ex.
Take it from a guy who has been in this tight spot a time or twothere are three things you must do before moving forward with your friends ex.
, my friend was telling me that he wanted to go out with his exs friend.
Any time our group of friends would get together, i couldn't wait to be entertained by the show that these two would undoubtedly put on for us.
You really, really must date themlet me say once more, its never going to be the best idea you had, but if you honestly do believe their ex is your future love of your life, heres how to have the best shot at keeping the friendship.
This distinction is the most important factor in deciding if dating your friends ex is worth it.
If this girl is a good friend to you and has always been there for you, why risk losing her?
He was smart, he was friendly, and most importantly he seemed to have a conscience.
If its a close friend that you couldnt bear to live without, the short answer to should i date their ex?
Discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma.
After committing ourselves to separate universities that required a day's worth of travel to visit one another, my high school boyfriend and i split up during our sophomore year.
I could tell she wasnt thrilled, and our friendship became more about jealousy than anything else.
Me say once more, its never going to be the best idea you had, but if you honestly do believe their ex is your future love of your life, heres how to have the best shot at keeping the friendship.
We didn't talk every day or even every week, but she and i both knew that we had the type of friendship that could stand the test of time.
) i realize my situation is unique and there are many other instances of ex-dating that should probably be avoided.
Sure, it might make for good cinema, but at what point are you willing to end friendships, complicate entire friend groups, and potentially divide families?
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Then i missed her, we made up, and i tried to pretend i was okay with her dating him.
At first, we got in a huge fight and i thought we would never be friends again.
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-breakup, i maintained a single lifestyle while my friend transferred schools and almost immediately started dating another guy.
Seven questions to ask before you even consider dating your friend's ex (and tracey cox insists it's never a good idea).
The end, things didnt work out with them and after they broke up, him and i got close again, and we started dating.
They likely have things in common and, even after the breakup, still share many of the same friends, and were all looking for love, right?
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Are you okay with making your friend feel terrible so that you can feel good?
You might lose other friends tooif your friend gets really angry that you're dating her ex and you two stop being friends, chances are, you'll lose at least one more friend.
I was miserable, angry, and felt so betrayed, but i was trying to hide it because i didnt want to lose my friend.
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We got in a fight, and after that, we really did stop being friends forever.
Dont hook up with your friends ex, dont talk about how you like your friends ex, dont get into a relationship with your friends ex.
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Yes, there are exceptions to everything, but in the majority of cases, the friend will lie.
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