Asking yourself if theres something youve done to make her feel that way, or whether she has lost interest in and excitement for you are all very rational, logical approaches but there is nothing rational about depression.
Always been open about my first and longest relationship, when i dated someone who was dealing with severe depression.
You notice any of these signs early in the dating process, you may want to consider dating someone else unless you have a lot of patience or you happen to struggle with a bit of depression yourself; otherwise, youre signing on for future frustration.
Instead, preface it by telling her theres something youve struggled with thats a fairly common problem, let her know you have been diagnosed with depression and that youre taking care of yourself by seeking treatment.
When i dated my ex, i was so hung up on the thought that i could "fix" him, that i could take away his depression, that i let it control me and our relationship.
What to do when you're dating someone with depression
Thing to remember about dating is that all people have some kind of baggage they bring along for the ride.
Other intervention that helps the partners of depressed individuals is to get educated about what depression is and the various behaviors that commonly occur with depression.
It's so easy to fall into this way of thinking, that you can take away this person's depression.
: shutterstockyou might not understand what triggers their depressioneveryone who deals with depression is triggered by different things.
Dont owe it to the person to discuss your depression on a first date, friedman says.
What to do when dating someone with depression
But as blue as things may look at that point, a lot of us are lucky enough to have the ability to say "i'm feeling depressed," as opposed to "i have depression.
It will give you someone to talk to when things get hard, and that way you can get professional advice from someone who knows what they're talking about.
Explain that you love him and want to help him through this, but be clear that you arent going to let his avoidance of the problem (depression) make you feel depressed, too.
Need to take good care of yourself before you can take care of someone else in a relationship.
Note that theres nothing wrong with someone whos depressed, but meeting them in this stage is simply not a healthy way for you to start a relationship.
: shutterstockthere are no quick solutionswhen i dated my ex, i was hopeful that something, anything, would take away his depression forever.
My ex brought me down a lot, and when we were dating, i acted like someone i wasn't.
Depression has beaten them -- to the point where they will have actual physical pain.
This adnextadvertisementtheir depression is not about youit's easy to take someone else's depression personally, especially if you're very close to that person.
If i did something wrong that made him upset, i felt like i was causing his depression and his downward spiral.
If you're dating someone who's depressed, it's important to remember that you are not his/her therapist - you are their girlfriend.
When we're dating someone, we want to save them and be the one who makes everything better.
, when people start the long, long climb up out of depression, their emotions come back to them in weird ways.
Being said, its important to know that dating someone who is dealing with this type of thing can make you feel really lost sometimes, especially if you dont deal with depression yourself.
; shutterstockdoing research or going to therapy may helpif you're dating someone who is depressed, it helps to educate yourself on depression.
I wish i could individually respond to each of you, but until that time, here are 10 things you have to know about dating someone who is depressed.
Explore chat rooms and online forums to read about others experience with depression so that you can start to figure out whether your partners depression is something you can live with or something that, long-term, would become one of your deal breakers.
The person and the relationship are right for you, depression isnt likely to be a deal breaker.
It came to my ex-boyfriend, i made a decision that some people dont understand or that some people believe is wrong i decided to put myself first; to end things and focus on me, and to not have him in my life anymore (his depression wasnt the only factor here, by the way).
There are things you can do to make depression something you can live with - therapy, medication, etc.
Just talking about your relationship and how depression may impact it lets a person know you want him or her to be a part of your life.
It can really hurt you to see this, and you sometimes wonder if it's just you causing the depression.
Depression is constantly putting them through hell, making everything more stressful, making them doubt themselves, making everything difficult.
Know those commercials for the antidepressant with the tagline, "depression hurts more than just you," or "depression hurts everyone?
Youre depressed, dating can magnify some of your challenges, such as fatigue, irritability, low self-esteem, and reduced libido.