Because, when you really trace the origins of our phone-haters, its all about a fear of someone knowing who we truly are and how we genuinely feel.
, of someone youre dating and the implicit accusations and notions of mistrust that go along with that action should never be tolerated.
All it comes down to: some people like the clarity of labeling their relationships, whether its just friends, friends with benefits, fuck buddies who dont really like each other at all but have good sex, non-exclusively dating, in a serious relationship, etc.
When you find out your ex is dating someone ugly
You can do is notbe a shitty person, and try to find people who are emotionally developed enough to actually recognize that you are and appreciate it, partially by respecting your privacy.
Between social media, texting, online dating, apps, and a hundred other ways to digitally connect with each other (not to mention the million ways weve come up with the read meaning into those interactions), romancing in the modern world is not only more complicated, its infinitely more open to allowing people to be fake, dishonest, flaky, inconsistentand painfully insecure as a resultof all of that.
Now, the thing where you pretend to care way less than you actually do isnt just one option for how to proceed when dating someone new its now considered the only way to operate.
When you find out your ex is dating someone new
And refuse to be with someone who thinks so little of you, who has so little faith in your honesty and integrity that they would feel the need to check up on you by digging into your inbox.
Dating became a daily juggling act between love and drugs, between happiness and utter devastation.
And when that person happens to be someone youre romantically interested in, the stakes seem high enough that you would rather not risk it at all.
If you like knowing youre an emotional support system for someone and enjoy interdependence, youll thrive in this relationship.
Seriously, the minute you figure out that someone places no value on their humanity and sharing that with each other, its time to be fucking done with them.
Just be direct with the person youre seeing: i love texting with you, but i also really like hearing your voice.
A person who would be scared of you having feelings for them is truthfully frightened of either the responsibility that comes with having someone care about you and needing to protect them in the vulnerability that unavoidably comes with loving someone, ortheyre afraid of being vulnerable themselves.
So while its not cool to try and force someone into a label they dont want, you should feel very free to make it a requirement that if someone is going to be involved with you, they are going to be upfront and direct about what they want and how they view the relationship.
But if you are, theres absolutely no reason to tolerate the self-doubt, guilt, and anxiety that comes with dating someone who perpetually thinks youre cheating that shit is about them and their insecurities/inability to trust.
Do we even remember how to appreciate our whole, true selves ugly, awkward, gross, imperfect, human bits and all or are we so in love with the idealized social media versions of ourselves that we are terrified to let someone see the whole human behind it?
You cant check to make sure youre using the right word so you sound smarter.
Because after a million tiny bouts of doubt over the course of many relationships of varying seriousness, this is what ive learned: being in love does not mean the person youre with has an all-access pass to every little corner of your existence.
For part of their lives, addicts have been consumed with obtaining drugs and finding money to pay for them.
This one is a two-way street if you want to be with someone who trusts you, then you actually have to be trustworthy.
And you should never, ever waste your time dating someone who is afraid of those things.