About 2 months after we started dating, i got deathly ill (i mean literally on death's doorstep), and she stayed through me through thick and thin (i had a neurological condition that affected everything, i had motor control problems, muscle weakness, fatigue, constant night terrors, hallucinations, balance problems, speech problems, narcolepsy.
My guess is that your ex boyfriend is much more attracted to you than he is to his ex.
Overcoming an addiction involves being as open and honest as possible with those close to you, talking out your problems and frustrations and learning how to live a sober, satisfying life.
A person who would be scared of you having feelings for them is truthfully frightened of either the responsibility that comes with having someone care about you and needing to protect them in the vulnerability that unavoidably comes with loving someone, ortheyre afraid of being vulnerable themselves.
You'll find someone who maybe didn't check every single box on your "list," but checks boxes you didn't know you had before, and honestly, that turns into the best kind of relationship.
I still am going to be far more attracted to someone that i like rather than someone i like to just look at.
Dating became a daily juggling act between love and drugs, between happiness and utter devastation.
You can tell them you'd rather not talk about the new partner (for now) but if you're going to try to erase them from existing, then you need to put on your grown-up pants and deal with it.
Might be down to continue your weekend world of warcraft pvp battles and taco truck runs a few months into the split, but your ex may not feel the same way.
When your ex dating someone ugly
People who refuse to do that are basically the lowest scum of the modern dating world.
Between social media, texting, online dating, apps, and a hundred other ways to digitally connect with each other (not to mention the million ways weve come up with the read meaning into those interactions), romancing in the modern world is not only more complicated, its infinitely more open to allowing people to be fake, dishonest, flaky, inconsistentand painfully insecure as a resultof all of that.
Let your ex know you'd like to be friends, and have a friendly attitude to prove it, but don't force it.
Once you develop feelings for someone, the fact that your ex or any other woman is hotter than them becomes unimportant.
Goldrandomdudeyouknowmale 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago(0 children)reminds me of a quote i heard:"insecurity comes from comparing your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel.
Kind of thinking, as a reason for preferring someone less attractive, is not something you want to keep floating around in your mind.
Youre romantically involved with a current or former drug addict, just know its not all bad.
There are certain looks that turn me on but once i get to know someone and really see them i can be over the moon.
The saying nothing ventured, nothing gained comes into play in a painfully real way here sure,the smaller you keep your feelings, the less the distance you have to plummet if things fall apart, and the less likely you are to get seriously hurt.
When your ex is dating someone ugly
. looks fade, and i figured out around 25-26 that i needed someone i could carry on a conversation with.
Dont deceptively cross boundaries with other people, or engage in romantic/sexual exchanges unless you and your significant other have mutually decided that its allowed.
Everything else became secondary to someone who i could talk to, someone who is committed to being a lifetime learner with me.
Far as looks go i can not think of a single time where if i was weighing someone up it would come down to "well x is blahblah.
Goldskateboardg 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago(0 children)this is why you don't show your gf any pictures of your exes.
Goldlordofruinsotherself 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago(0 children)it doesn't matter hot hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit!
Goldload more comments(2 replies)load more comments(1 reply)ixcptmorganxi 96 points97 points98 points 1 year ago(2 children)you mean he totally stopped dating a model for you?
It takes two weeks or two years, seeing your ex with someone else for the first time almost always stings at least a little.
And it's clich, but personality really is the holy grail, and your personality can make you more, or less, attractive.
Goldload more comments(3 replies)footypjsfemale 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago(1 child)other side of the coin here - former model and my long-term ex is in a relationship with someone who is objectively less conventionally attractive.
Dragging her down to make yourself feel better, do this: trust your boyfriend's judgement in partners.
Anyhow, i don't know many well-adjusted people who would compare looks like that when it comes to someone they care about.
You cant check to make sure youre using the right word so you sound smarter.
But for some reason, the majority of us have decided that were going to tolerate certain aspects of modern dating despite them being completely unhealthy and antithetical to finding real happiness.
The early days of trying to rekindle a friendship, it's okay to not want to know much about your ex's dating lifejust so long as you acknowledge that it exists.
Just be direct with the person youre seeing: i love texting with you, but i also really like hearing your voice.
Shes not a california 10, but when you realize you love someone fro what they are, and not how they look, you realize looks hardly mater.
Trying to get them to pretend that this side of their life doesn't exist just to spare your feelings is immature and selfish.
Broach the topic of friendship sensitively, and respect your ex's decision if he or she admits they're not ready to be close again.
Golddcdictator 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago(0 children)how attractive other people perceive the person i'm with to be is more or less irrelevant to me - if i'm dating someone it's because i'd rather be with them than with other people, and attraction is more binary to me as others have said.
southseattle77 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago(1 child)once you realize the amount of utter bullshit you have to deal with from someone who, though no fault of their own, has the type of beauty that doesn't get told no, the kind of looks that grant access, the level of beauty that genuinely stifles character growth, you'll never think twice about leaving that person in your past.
If you've presented apologies and kindness where they're due, offered to be friends, and haven't received any of that in return, then it's best to call it what it is and let the idea of a civil or friendly relationship with your ex go.
So while its not cool to try and force someone into a label they dont want, you should feel very free to make it a requirement that if someone is going to be involved with you, they are going to be upfront and direct about what they want and how they view the relationship.
On relationships and figuring out just one opinion about their usefulness is complicated (which, as it happens, is the most fucking ridiculous label weve come up with yet every relationship is complicated, as it should be, but choosing to use that word as the main identifying characteristic that you want to share with the world probably means youre an asshole who likes drama.
Goldload more comments(1 reply)sigma932male 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago(4 children)there is a fundamental difference between someone being "attractive" and being "attracted to" someone.
Appearance still matters (inasmuch as you shouldn't let yourself go once you land someone) but all that other stuff is just as important if not more.
We (presumably just like women) can see someone and realize that they are a very attractive person, physically, but have no emotional connection to that.
10 comments what men have ever posted in the missed connections on cl and actually got a real response or a horror story28 22 comments what are some of the biggest differences you've noticed with dating someone with a big age cap (younger/older) v.
You and your ex won't soon forget the personal sacrifices you made for one another, or even minor annoyances you suffered.
Its easy to feel like whoever is your main focus in the moment is the only person you could ever be with, which is a feeling that causes an understandable degree of subconscious panic.
I watch germanys next topmodel one girl on there was so fucking ugly she looked like a fish.
Goldcr33pedout[s] 38 points39 points40 points 1 year ago(1 child)haha as evidenced by your username?
At the end of the day, it's not an attractive person that you're expecting, but someone that you enjoy being with.
We broke up in july, so i haven't started dating anyone so i don't know if i can answer your question as well as others.
Your own social circles and build relationships with mutual friends that don't involve "couple hangouts" and "double dates".
Goldcr33pedout[s] 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago(0 children)cheers to your current relationship :) haha i will pass in terms of the offer to go date your ex.
Because, when you really trace the origins of our phone-haters, its all about a fear of someone knowing who we truly are and how we genuinely feel.
Spend a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships on the path to sobriety, so they can apply all those lessons to your relationship.
Some people have "model" attactive, some people have "cute librarian" attractive, some people have "the kind of woman you bring home to meet your parents" attactive, etc etc.
Out of all the complete little piles of horse shit on the tumultuous landscape of dating, these are the big 4 that way too many people do and way too many of us tolerate.
Seriously, the minute you figure out that someone places no value on their humanity and sharing that with each other, its time to be fucking done with them.
Now, the thing where you pretend to care way less than you actually do isnt just one option for how to proceed when dating someone new its now considered the only way to operate.
, of someone youre dating and the implicit accusations and notions of mistrust that go along with that action should never be tolerated.
It's important to remember that if your goal is to be friendly or civil, you should act accordingly.
Don't be intimidated by anyone because you're you and if someone doesn't think you're pretty enough then it's their loss, not yours.